BB7 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, put the breaks on that one sweetheart!

And the week of Erika as HOH begins with her screaming like Xena the Warrior Princess in the Diary Room, "I won HOHHayayayay!" She goes on to say that James had to go, b/c he was one of the strongest competitors. "You've gotta get those stronger players out of here." Well, if that's the case, Erika could actually win this thing. Because I think those furry little tarantulas have more of a game plan than you do. Isn't it great how she tries to talk like she has all these great strategies and is a really tough player, when really, I don't think she understands half of what she is doing? She blindly does what other people tell her to, not really understanding the reasons. Every once in awhile you see the light bulb moment when she actually comprehends the logic behind getting rid of someone. But, those moments, I'm afraid, are few and far between. I mean, how else can you explain that she still thinks she is part of Chill Town and has no clue that Boogie is manipulating the crap out of her? Yes, I'm afraid that those light bulb moments are growing dimmer and dimmer by the day.

While we are on the subject of my favorite house guest, nice HOH room. Well, I guess I can't say it is dull. I really can't put it any better than Will; it does look like a florist had an epileptic seizure in that room. You know that no one gave a crap about seeing her HOH room when she sang, "Who wants to see my HOH room, la la la?" (Why does she have to say everything in that stupid sing song voice? Why?) Will couldn't come up with anything to say except what an ugly group of people the Season 4 cast was; love how he didn't exclude Erika from that description. As everyone except for Danielle files out of the room, we are treated to Erika jumping around in circles like an idiot, with no clue the gravity HOH brings at this point in the game. Danielle tries to have a serious conversation with her, trying to figure out why Janelle voted for James. But poor little Erika just can't seem to grasp why this even matters. Her little world right now is focused on her hideously flowered room and her plans to deflower it as soon as possible with her "ally" Mike Boogie.

Speaking of which, Erika displayed her naiveté when it comes to game play when she suggested to Boogie that she might nominate Will. I mean, is she a complete dolt? Boogie and Will. Will and Boogie. Chill Town. Business Partners. Um, the list goes on and on, so why on earth would she think that Boogie would go for getting rid of Will even before the final five? She then pressures Boogie into naming his allegiance. In that special Boogie way, he artfully dodges the question, confusing Erika. Who like a puppy who goes chasing after a ball you've only pretended to throw, blindly follows Boogie's diversion and lets the question go.

Boogie seems to have cut back adding extra syllables to words. But, he did bust out with his own special Boogie way of expressing his amazement when Janelle won at poker, screaming, "Boolya Cashalaka Boo!" See, it's little things like this that make love Boogie. I mean, who else could pull that off in this house? He wasn't quite so good humored about it as Janelle pretty much opened a can of whoop-ass on the table during their poker tournament. I'm afraid my dear Boogies ego was slightly bruised. No worries, I'm sure Erika will be right there to massage it back to its over inflated, yet irresistible state of Boogieness.

Chicken George got some quality on air time this episode...unfortunately for us, the majority of it was spent in either form fitting spandex that left nothing to the imagination or some other form of undress. His credo as Belly Flop King may be that he's got the girth and got the worth, but please, please, please put your shirt back on. The repetitive loop of CG running from the house to the pool with his arms akimbo and then hurling himself face first into the water was possibly the worst time filler yet this season.

Once George finished flailing himself into the pool, Will and Janelle use it to get down to some serious flirt time. Janelle claims that the flirting is just fun and passes the time in the house. But, will she be susceptible as Will puts on his sexiest voice and his come hither eyes? "When you say 'hate' do you mean 'loooove'"? But in seriousness, I think these two are all about the showmance and goofing around. Unlike Erika and Boogie, where Boogie thinks that Erika is falling in love with him, despite his alter ego, Lance Showmance...who I must say is a freaking genius.

When it's time to announce the Food Competition, not only does Erika sing "It's time for the food competition, la la la", but she also skips through the room like a crazy person. Speaking of crazy people, for this competition, everyone gets to dress up to look like they pretty much escaped from the loony bin: giant sunflowers, buzzing bees, and the strangest looking birds I ever have seen. As if the Chicken George belly flop scenes weren't enough for one day, we are treated to George in a bright green spandex body suit. And in this body suit, George has to jump on the other house guests to squeeze nectar from their costumes. Where do they come up with these challenges? I mean, CBS must have an entire team dedicated to "Let's see what other humiliating thing we can get these folks to do for money". And I have to say, that even though George in the body suit was disturbing, especially when he referred to Will as Dr. Delicious right before mounting him, it was nothing compared to Erika basically humping (I hate this word, but nothing else fits...sorry) Boogie in order to drain him of his nectar. Yeah, after that, I have a feeling nectar isn't all that was drained from poor Boogie. And then Erika laments about how her mother is going to just die, as if that is the first embarrassing thing the girl has done. Um, let's not forget about the bathtub shenanigans from last week sweetie. And now that the house has a trampoline, I'm sure that Erika will be eager to show Boogie her flexibility and bounciness on that thing. Let's keep the cameras away from the trampoline. Please, for all that is good, please.

The highlight of the episode had to be Will as he made love to the camera in the back yard. "Come here, give me a little kiss." "You're naughty, you're naughty." "If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I would but U and I together." I mean, even when this guy is at the height of cheesiness, he is still absolutely charming. Ah yes, after wooing the cameras as only Will can do, I think a whole new legion of Dr. Delicious fans were born. After a brief, but tragic break up with the camera, Will goes running back to it, begging for forgiveness and for it to take him back.

George feels left out because he hasn't been invited to any of the secret alliance meetings. Which should make him wonder, "If I'm not invited to the meetings, maybe I'm really not in an alliance." But, George, still reveling in his one-week slop pass, doesn't get the hint. Let's just hope your around to enjoy that slop pass for a week and not on a permanent slop pass in the Jury House. When it's time for the nominations, Erika explains to the group how she lost a lot of sleep the previous night trying to make the decision. Um, yeah. You may have lost a lot of sleep, but I have a feeling your time was occupied with other Boogie type things rather than tough decision making. She goes on about how she is an emotional person and an emotional player, blah, blah, blah. Can we just get to the nominations already without the drama? Janelle and George are nominated. Janelle expects it fully. George does not. George does his obligatory, "aw shucks" head bob mope.

Once the nominations are announced, Erika starts bestowing Janelle with compliments about her game play and how great she is and that's why she was nominated. I guess that sounds better than, "I nominated you because Boogie and Danielle told me to." But, at this point in the game, why can't the nominations just be left alone? Why do they have to be immediately followed up by butt-kissing to the nominees? You can't tell me that Erika has thought far enough ahead that she is trying to secure votes for whoever gets sent to the jury.