BB7 - Night of 1,000 Metaphors

Web of lies, web of deceit, Black Widow, tangled web...will it never end? If for nothing else than them beating the spider reference to death, I wanted this HOH to be over. But, I'm sure we aren't done. No doubt Chenbot will bring it up at least once more on Thursday night.

Will, in a moment that made me love him even more, called out the rest of the house guests as they were all sad about Diane's eviction. Thank goodness someone did! I mean, they all, minus Marcellus, voted her out of the house. Let's drop the mopey faces and leave them to Chicken George.

"This HOH was tailor made for Beefcake, Hurricane, Jedi Howie." Classic Howie, with his cap askew. Now, I didn't realize this at the time, but the producers clearly put this in as a sign of things to come. Things being the pounds that Howie has apparently been packing on. "Howie's not a little boy, Howie's a big boy." "Big Boy likes sandwiches." "Big boy likes foam" What I don't get is that he really doesn't look all that different to me. Maybe his stomach is a little softer, but was there really a need for Danielle's food intervention? Puh-lease! I mean, if anything, Howie was being pretty strategic. Like a bear preparing for hibernation, Howie was preparing for being put on the slop diet. But anyway, Danielle doesn't see it this way and she pulls Howie aside for a talk, explaining how she is worried about how out of control it is when he comes to food. Seriously. I mean, it's not like he's hooked on the juice or boozing it up or smoking crack, he's not even smoking cigarettes for Pete's sake. And he is in no immediate danger of having to be sawed out of the house and buried in a piano crate. I mean, let's all just settle down.

Anyway, the HOH competition continues. Will throws it, in hopes to get the $10K egg...he doesn't. But, it was really worth it to hear his summation of the challenge, "I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but at least I'm not sitting on a spider web for 50 hours waiting for a freaking rotten egg." Go Team Will! Other than this gem, I was disappointed with the lack of Will time in last night's episode. It was clearly much more James-centric. And I'm kind of done with James. Actually, I'm secretly hoping that the Legion of Doom's plan backfires and James is dunzo. His tough talk, I'm going take Janelle down, blah, blah, blah is becoming taxing to say the least. Of course, the fact that he won the veto nullification vote doesn't really help matters.

So, it came down to Howie, Danielle, and Erika as the final three in the HOH competition. George, in a move of great stupidity, knew there was only the Slop Pass egg left, but didn't drop. So, Marcellus dropped and gets the pass. What does George do? Drops two seconds later. Idiot. Danielle starts to give up and then changes her mind. The only reason this is of note is Boogie yelling "Holla" in the background. There's just something funny about a white boy in a head band and super long shorts yelling Holla that makes me laugh. Holla! So, Jedi Howie holds on as long as he can, but after promises of safety from the remaining two gals, he drops. I guess all that excess weight finally got to him. In the end, Erika handed the HOH to Danielle. Without missing a beat, Erika has taken Diane's roll as the biggest dud in the house. Honestly, I forgot she was even in the competition till Danielle asked her for the HOH. And since when does being a flight instructor make you good at a challenge that involves hanging on ropes and being squirted with shaving cream? I mean, if she had said she was some sort of trapeze flying porn star maybe, but a flight instructor? **

Apparently the five minutes that Will was on the spider web have taken their toll. Inside, Will is experiencing some major back pain. This is where I would have pretty much tackled the rest of the house guests to relieve him of his pain. But, no, Kaysar steps in. And once again, the show reverts to cheap man-on-man action. A half naked Will topped by a half naked Count Chocula, trying to crack his back. The highlight of this scene is when Howie walks in and explains that he thought they finally lost Will and wondered what would happen to his vote now that he had finally bit the dust. I'm guessing this is kind of a payback for Will calling Howie a bloated, half-dead, diabetic manatee. In my book, Will one that game.

Just when I thought George couldn't get more annoying and pathetic, the rest of the house gets pizza. And George, having given up the slop card, pouts like a five year old child. His pouting is really starting to make me uncomfortable. And I wanted to slap Marcellus for giving him that pass. Can we please vote George off? Please. I'm sick of the whining, farting, pouting, patheticness that is Chicken George. Eye of the tiger my ass.

In the end, Danielle put up Janelle and James. You know James wasn't happy about this. And if it backfires and he gets the boot, he might just rue the day he referred to Janelle as an Anna Nicole Smith wannabe who was the dumbest person to play the game. If Chill Town pulls through, and I think they just might, I think James is on the first bus back to his boring Sarah, perhaps with a stop to see Diane along the way.

** Upon some further investigation from my ace fact checker, Erika is a pilates instructor, not a flight instructor. This makes more sense. Note to self, on BB7 nights, no more than two glasses of wine allowed.